How’m I Doin’?

A week into this experiment I ask myself the question that was former NYC mayor Ed Koch’s mantra: “How’m I doin’?” His was a rhetorical pat on his own back, whereas mine is a scratch on my head. Because I really don’t know.

It is difficult to stretch any given task to an hour when I am hyper-aware of the clock. If I begin something at 1pm and find myself balking or drifting by 1:20, I either continue on the new path (resetting the imaginary timer with resentment) or try to refocus on the original goal. Regardless, two voices are vying for airspace in my head:

“You’re just not disciplined enough” (and what happened to all that karate training?) and “It’s OK” (and doesn’t it take 21 days to form a habit?)

I need to reconcile the sparring voices with a simple “just try again.” Bring myself back to the moment and not worry about the hour.

 Two success stories today!

This morning I was organizing on my computer screen some images I once planned to market in my own future online shop. Graphics for T-shirts, greeting cards, stationery goods, mugs, the usual suspects. I dragged, dropped, and sifted through the myriad of folders, consolidated the batch with new labels, and in doing so, rekindled my desire. When I came up for air, an hour had passed. (It’s easy for a computer to suck you in and steal your soul and your watch, so maybe this doesn’t really count. But I’m counting it).

Later in the day I confronted a towering stack of summer ironing: all my favorite frock hits from the 1950s and ’60s. I put Martha Reeves and the Vandellas on the CD player and soon was “dancin’ in the street” in my head. A press of the steam button and the cotton fabric printed with poodles and Eiffel towers, gondolas and butterflies, all billowed to life.

So…how’m I doin’? Time is on my side.

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About DIRNDL SKIRT

Sharing my art and writing in a loosely gathered way that allows for meandering and taking the scenic route, I try to be mindful, meaningful, but still, at times, playful.
This entry was posted in little successes, self-doubts and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

5 Responses to How’m I Doin’?

  1. annelibby says:

    You’re not failing when you don’t always make it to an hour, you’re finding your rhythm.

  2. DIRNDL SKIRT says:

    And a syncopatin’ rhythm it sometimes, Anne! But thanks for that positive slant.

  3. Thomas Ross says:

    Answer- you’re doing great.

  4. DIRNDL SKIRT says:

    Thomas ~ thanks for the vote of support!

  5. Cranky Cuss says:

    I hope you’re doing great. This approach doesn’t work very often for me because I have trouble focusing on a task when I am on the clock. If it’s 1:00 and I have an appointment at 2:30, I can’t tell myself, “Oh, I’ll write for the next 90 minutes” because I’m too aware of the time limit.

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