My birthday was exactly one week ago today, and I do look and feel much younger than my chronological age. But self-compliments aside, many of my attempts to reach certain goals by this milestone have failed: not in spectacular crash-and-burns, but in streams of evaporating rivulets that somehow have meandered off course. I find myself stuck on a rock in a dry river bed. How do I dislodge my raft and start going with the flow again? I need a solution that will make life manageable and productive, because there are always white water rapids in the journey, and I am tired of losing my oars.
A solution strikes like a bolt from the blue, maybe from Buddha himself? I have always been able to work with what I have. It’s been kind of a private joke, a leftover philosophy from my grandparents who lived during the Depression. The one in the 1930s. I don’t like to buy things I think I need, when quite probably I already have them (hidden in closets or piles, but nonetheless, they are here). I also have things I can use (some are nuggets of gold), hidden in the accumulating clutter and chaos of my brain. I just need to sift a bit.
Let’s shine a kinder light on the subject: I have a lot of ideas and goals, interests and passions. And I am focus-challenged. What if I fully embrace and accept this fact, with no critical self-judgment? First I must responsibly* let go of the need to determine if my patterns are caused by DNA, horoscope, habits, or hormones.
I might be able to lasso my meandering focus, give it a little tug as well as a little hug, and apply some Zen attitude. I continue to ponder if I can do this in a way that works for me. I am still liking the gauntlet I have thrown down myself: an hour at a time.
For thirty days, I am going to see if I can create some new habits. And more important, take back the reins of my life.
In the process, I may discover on my own what people far wiser than I have always known. About how to live fully, and by that I do mean mindfully. But I am a D.I.Y.-er, and so, I need to start the journey.
On my own.